Apple & Sage Roast Chicken, Ceasar Salad, Mashed Sweet Potatoes

The Chicken:

• I brined my chicken for a few hours.  I’ve been taken in by too many crappy supermarket chickens.  If you have a fresh chicken, however, brining isn’t necessary before roasting.
• Preheat the Oven to 325°F.
• Dry your chicken.
• Run your hand under the skin to separate it from the meat.  You may need to trim some of the skin around the bottom end opening in order to get in to the area around the thighs.  But, you should be able to separate skin on the front, back, and even the drumsticks without tearing or removing anything else.
• Sweat a hefty amount of finely chopped sage and some garlic in olive oil.
• When the sage and garlic are sufficiently cooked, melt about a 1/3 of a stick of butter into it.
• When the butter is melted strain it into a small bowl.
• Take the garlic and sage from the strainer and rub it all into the meat under the skin, all over the chicken.
• Dice up some apples, enough to stuff the chicken with.  I have some type of baking apples I’d never heard of until I went to a pick-your-own orchard last weekend.
• Stuff the apples into the chicken.  (You’re not going to eat them.  And if you try to, make sure they’ve been heated well enough to kill anything the chicken juices may add to them).
• Brush the outside of the entire chicken with the butter.
• Put the chicken in a pan with a rack.  (I don’t own a rack, I use the burner grates from my stove top.)
• Start with the breast up.  Well, you’re going to flip the bird a few times.  All that matters is to finish breast up because that’s where it’s best to have the crispiest skin.
• Roast for a half of an hour.
• Then flip your bird.
• Roast for another half of an hour.
• Flip your bird again and raise the oven temperature to 400°F.
• The bird should be breast up now.  That helps it self baste while the raised temperature renders the fat.
• After about 20 minutes (I stopped watching the clock), flip the bird breast down.
• Baste.
• Roast until the skin looks brown enough to be good.
• Baste as often as you can be bothered to do so.
• After another 20 minutes or so, flip the chicken breast up.
• Continue basting until a thermometer thrust into the chicken’s breast as if you were trying to stab it in the heart reads 160°F.
• Take the chicken out of the oven and let it rest until you’re too hungry to care about “resting” any more.
• Remove the apples and carve away.

Caesar Dressing:

• Put two egg yolks in a blender.
• Add two small garlic cloves, pre-chopped sufficiently to allow your blender to deal with it.
• Add a splash of hot sauce.  I use Co-op Image Hot Sauce, it’s smoky and delicious.
  
• Squirt in two teaspoons or so’s worth of mustard.
  
• Also add a ½ teaspoon or so of Worcestershire sauce.
• Put in 4 or 5 anchovy fillets, such as those that come in a jar packed with oil.
• Crank up the blender until everything is liquefied.
• Keep the blender running on a speed that won’t throw up a huge mess during the next few steps.
• Very slowly drizzle in about a ½ a cup of olive oil.
• Assuming everything has remained emulsified, continue…  (if not, panic, add more egg yolk, and whisk in a bowl.)
  
• Squeeze in the juice of 1 lemon.
• Add about a tablespoon of wine vinegar.
• Add a teaspoon or two of balsamic vinegar.
• Sprinkle in a double handful of grated Parmesan cheese.
• Grind in some black pepper.
• Turn off the blender.

Mashed Sweet Potatoes:

• I would like to hereby make a culinary stand to say that the only time sweet potatoes are better with sugar in them is when they’re served for dessert.  They’re already called “sweet”, you know?
• Peel and chop up your sweet potatoes.
• Put them in a pot with just a little bit of water.  The truth is that they already have plenty of water in them.  But, adding a little to the pot helps the sweet potatoes get started cooking without the ones on the bottom of the pot burning.
• Cover the pot and turn the heat on medium.
• Once things come to a boil, stir the sweet potatoes every few minutes to prevent burning on the bottom.
• When they readily fall apart while your stirring, they’re done.
• Mash them.
• Add salt, pepper, and ground ancho chile flakes.
• Stir in some milk, to whatever consistency you like.